You Are A Product

Worst Audition:

She walks up to the stage in a blue (and the perfect definition of the color blue) shirt with the sleeves that wing at the shoulder and taper to the forearm.  It has silver metallic spirals or something on the front of it.  She has the front tucked into her black leggings.  They are tight.  Not too tight, but noticeably tight.  Just the front of the shirt is tucked in.  The back is hanging out, wondering why it was left out… or is it laughing at the front because it looks like she didn’t pay attention to her outfit’s placement after using the bathroom.  That’s not it!  She has on these shoes.  Shoes I have never seen before.  These shoes were platform-heeled, open-toed sneakers that lace up the shin.  You could see her very prominent red toenail polish.  Her monologue was Joan of Arc.  And her shoes? Did she use the bathroom and forget to un-tuck her shirt?  She has a fine body to wear those leggings, but why am I uncomfortable?  And those shoes!  WTF?!

This has got to be the worst audition outfit I have ever seen, poor thing.  She was young, like 16ish.  The thing was, her hair and makeup were perfect, she reading was great, but not one person from the group could remember anything about her other than the paragraph above.  Joan of Arc and lacy platform open-toed sneakers.  No one on that panel.  Not one!

 She Failed Her Audition Because of What She Wore, and that she was 16 doing Joan of Arc.

This week, I’ve decided to dedicate both articles to auditioning because I spent the last two days in auditions casting the musical and the comedy that I will be directing this summer.


First of all, you are a human PRODUCT.  This girl, let’s call her Eve, was certainly a product.  Unfortunately, not one that any of 16 directors could use!  What you wear, what you do, and how you behave tell us what kind of product you are.


Here is what the panel wants:

They want confidence (how you behave)

They want choices… that make sense (what you do)

We will type you then hear you because we see first (what you wear)

They’re neurotic (yes we are, can we make you fit into our piece)

They have a short time to fill roles (making quick judgments because time is money)


Once you know how to dress (please watch the video at the end of this blog on proper audition attire!), what is appropriate for you to perform for us, and how to behave:  TRUST YOUR AUDITION.  Don’t second guess yourself!

WE WAT CONFIDENCE.  That is performance.


Things you need to know and be willing to accept:

You will get rejected a lot.

a lot

a lot!

How you BEGIN (MOMENT BEFORE) and END (Commitment to your performance) is most important.



Sell Yourself on the Shelf

A hint of the taste of the show

  • not a costume, but song type

Doctors spend 12 years preparing; maybe you should be prepared for you audition.  Find an audition song, find your outfit, behave like you have class and charm, be nice to EVERYONE (I ask the person taking your name if you were nice while you were waiting!)

Just give a smile, a resume, a headshot, and know your song real well.

If you think this, you’ll be golden:

Just remember that Cher would never walk into an audition trying to be “what they want,” she’s herself.



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